15.6.00
My So-Called Dream Life
From the "What'chu been smokin', girl?!" department...
If it's not nightmares, it is pure and utter madness inside the echoey chamber known as my subconscious. Most times when I wake up from a substantial sleep, immersing myself in reality is one of the hardest tasks there is, considering the matter of my dreams. Take, for example, the content of the last three dream sessions I've had:
Dream #1: I was in a shower that looked roughly like the one in my parent's bathroom - white tiled with shatterproof glass doors - only it was much larger (it would accomodate about two people in reality, and in the dreamworld it would fit five or six people snugly), which is a good thing since it was the location for a strange roundtable-type discussion about webdesign.
The only person I recognised was Wren, who was on the outside of the shower (I believe everyone was fully dressed, in white clothing, or at least towels), and the conversation was centering around the background image of the Candi's blog, Spitfire!. We came to an agreement that it was a great background image because it bordered her text neatly. The next topic for deliberation came from my "boyfriend" - in quotes because it was a man standing outside the shower (I was on the inside), who claimed to be my boyfriend. I didn't recognise him, but I knew somehow we were involved. In any case, he asked in almost a whisper, "What should I do? I hate my girlfriend's webdesigns. I don't want to hurt her feelings." I looked at him and exclaimed, "You fuck! You're dumped." Suddenly Nathan appears in the scene and rolls his eyes, telling me quietly, "See? I told you it wouldn't work. Now come home!"
(Why is it when you dream all of the things that would take actual discourse to understand just appear somehow in your mind? I understood from the moment Nathan was in the dream that he'd let me have a boyfriend off to the side to prove to me that it just wouldn't work. No-one said anything, it was just there. I suppose that's the nature of the dream world.)
Dream #2: I was on a road trip with Tom Green, but the dream started when we'd stopped at a gas station for snacks and the like. The car was a crappy red lowrider that didn't look like it had been washed for its entire lifetime, and I wasn't sure how we could all fit in in anyhow, because there were five or so of us gathered outside the vehicle whilst we were stopped. Of my companions on the trip, I only recognised one aside from Mr. Green - an old school friend, Andrew, who seemed surprised to see me. Tom asked whether anyone would like a Nestle Butterfinger, holding up a bucket filled with the confection, and when I eagerly replied, "Ooh, me, me!" he looked at me deadpan and replied, "Too bad."
(I'd like to note here that I've never actually eaten a Butterfinger before. Maybe it's because of those ads featuring characters from the Simpsons, I don't know.)
In the meanwhile, my trip-mates were playing with a fluffy tarantula, which I shied away from since large tropical spiders tend to scare the living piss out of me. I stood off to the side, afraid that the creature was going to jump on me, when I noticed that it was slowly morphing into the form of a tiny little kitten. It looked mostly like a kitten with tarantula-style striping, and then I noticed that it had little feelers on its head. I could handle this, though - because who's afraid of tiny kitties? Almost no-one. (Except for some woman I saw on "Maury", but that's a tale for the conclusion of this analysis.) So I began playing with the kitten-spider, and then I noticed that the car was gone, and with it my friends. It hadn't made even a sound, so I went into the gas station store to investigate, and found Dr. Evil (from Austin Powers, though I'm sure you know that) behind the counter. I looked at him as if to say, "What in the hell?" and he replied with a shrug,
"I don't know."
(I may have to record a sound file of this phrase; whilst relating this to Nathan I imitated the style in which Dr. Evil said this, he promptly cracked up.)
Dream #3: I was involved in a photography project headed by Derek Powazek. The other three subjects and myself were all dressed in white having our photgraphs taken - both still and action shots - in a white studio. I think there were orange leaves on the ground, partially covered with whitewash, so the whole feel was reminiscent of the latest LeAnn Rimes music video ("I Need You", probably only available to view on VH1 because it wouldn't appeal to the MTV set).
I kept hoping Derek would mention the project on his site, and he did - in a paragraph that consisted entirely of links. What eventuated, however, is that the project was for a television show that fell through. It was a documentary about stereotyping; someone was asked what they thought of feminists and they said, "Loud mouthed, hairy armpitted lesbians", and then they talked to me to disprove the typical image because of those characteristics I'm only loud-mouthed, and not usually about feminism.
Paging Dr. Freud? I'm not sure what's up with those dreams. The only part I can explain is the bit with the kitten-spider - that morning I'd watched the talkshow "Maury", where several women were "cured" of phobias ranging from fear of bugs to birds to snakes to tarantulas to - believe it or not - tiny little kittens. This one woman almost decked Maury and ran off stage screaming when they brought out this defenceless little white kitten; I found it quite bizarre.
Dare to analyse me? Please don't. I'd rather be left in the dark as to what these naptime adventures possibly spell out about my weird, wired brain...
