2.3.00

Things Learnt (And Realised) Today

Something I Learnt In The Doctor's Office Waiting Room: did you know that a couple of generic-brand denture cleansing tablets is an effective way to berid your toilet bowl of stubborn stains? Well, you do now. Courtesy of some woman's magazine I picked up during my approximately thirty to forty minute wait at the clinic.

Something I Learnt In The Doctor's Office Itself: the most probable reason I was kept waiting so long when my doctor of choice only had one patient before me is that he likes to take personal calls whilst he sees patients. I don't care that his daughter's boyfriend had dental surgery this afternoon. I do care that I just want to get my prescription and get out of there as soon as possible.

Something I Realised Whilst Driving Away From The Clinic: if you've taken several days off work in the last fortnight, you really should learn to call them before you cop out of another night's work. You may start to feel as though a legitimate doctor's note may not mean anything to your superiors.

Something I Learnt On The Way To Jo's House: never buy a super-sized slurpee when you're driving by yourself. On the other hand, if you're going to stain your cow-spotted seat covers, it might as well be with something pink. At least it looks sort of cute.

Something I Learnt Whilst Reading The Leaflet In My Box Of Cipramil®: a rare side effect is the inability to achieve orgasm for females. That explains a bit.

Something I Learnt Whilst Watching "The Talented Mr. Ripley": Nothing, really, except not to trust a man wearing lime-green swimming trunks, and that if you're going to reject a sociopath, your best choice is in a public place, not in a small boat on the open ocean with no-one nearby. Oh, and that sometimes cinema listings are wrong... but they never show anything ultra-important in the first five minutes anyway.

Something I Learnt Whilst Eating Fast Food In My Car, All By Myself, In A Public Parking Lot: not only do I have the tendency to make myself look like a strange loner, but the state of late-night talkback radio today is really quite pathetic.

It's 2:28am. Do you know where your sanity is? I'm not sure where mine went, I have a feeling it's underneath the driver's seat of my car, along with the trash from tonight's meal. Or maybe Nathan has it. I think I'll go ask him.

Goodnight.