Screening Party by Dennis Hensley is one of the funniest things I have read in a good long time. I recommend it highly, although it helps if: you constantly find your mind in the gutter, you're not adverse to sarcasm, and you are screamingly-funny-gay-boy friendly.

My Netflix queue is getting way out of control. It's going to take me months to get through them all and I keep adding to it all the time. At least it gives me something to do from time to time, and I can rent things like "Glitter", "Wild Things" and "Showgirls" without having to look a rental-store clerk in the eye.

Speaking of all things fromage, I watched "Martha, Inc." on Lifetime tonight. It was me, a bowl of popcorn, and Cybil Shepherd pretending to be a shrew. (And I do love Martha. Maybe I've fallen prey to her juju, but the woman is masterful and the best at what she does, not that there are many women heading their own worldwide-known omnimedia conglomerates these days.) I have become an unironic Lifetime viewer. I still take offense, from time to time, at their tagline - "Television For Women" - but where else am I able to indulge my love for "The Nanny" and "The Golden Girls", or watch pathetic movies-of-the-week featuring some woman or another overcoming the odds/a learning disability/a pregnancy as the result of some hot, illicit affair/an abusive relationship/a murky past as a prostitute or pr0n-star/breast cancer? Nowhere else. So I give. I'm a follower of Lifetime Supply of Pantyhose. May God help me.