Sometimes I like having a look around schoolfriends.com.au. It feels a bit snoopy, seeing what my acquaintances from my school days are up to without actually talking to any of them. Because I'm shy. One or two sent me emails and I'm too much of a wussy to write back. They probably think I'm the biggest snob that ever roamed the earth.

But then there are times that I don't like it. Practically everyone went to uni and got a degree and are now doing Big Important Things. I went to uni and lost my mind. I couldn't handle it at all. Both times. I had absolutely no capacity for doing anything responsible because it felt like my soul and my brain, intertwined, were simply frozen. If it sounds like a cop-out, then so be it. Being seized by depression and living with an abuser is absolutely no fun at all, so it's not as if I was just wasting an opportunity by going to parties all the time and drinking my brain cells away. Anyway, everytime I browse around I feel like a big loser because I never "acheived" anything. I don't have a degree or diploma to my name. I want to go back to school some day and study art and writing. I wonder if it's even possible.